The First of Many

So here I am at a quaint little coffee shop trying to put my fleeting thoughts into words. It’s been awhile since I had time to sit down and steep like a tea bag. Not that my thoughts are anything but awesome. Some are just idle floating really but right now I am required to write about my experience after coming back to school from a long hiatus. I will take a stab at it but forgive me if it doesn’t amount to much. I specifically told the barista to give me one tall beverage with cream but no coffee so yes some parts of my brain may still actually be asleep.

Now I don’t want to bore you with my life history but should it please you, there is plenty of that in the About section. Ha! No escaping of that! I would straight up tell you this though – UPOU surprised me. You know the saying “You’ll never be prepared for anything”? That is deeply true for me here. A few days after enrollment, I half leaped, half skipped to the bookstore to buy school supplies. I was like a young school girl picking colored pens, post its and – THE notebook – cue the thunder, that will hold all the notes I’d probably be writing. I made sure to prep my husband, my baby AND our family dog and cat about my schedule. Afternoon is for school! No knocking on doors or nonsense crying from 1-5pm. It is for school! They all “appeared” to have understood though I sense they are a bit doubtful – especially the baby who practically commands the entire house with just one mighty wail. I shrugged all these signs of course because no! School is priority! Ah, the expectations I set!

Then the classes started and the reading list grew longer. The modules are overwhelming and the deliverable stuff are piling too. I lead a few projects before and I honestly thought that good project and time management skills will help me here. Oh surprise! Of course I’m a mother first and foremost, lest I forget. So when our baby says “Mamaaaaa” everything just drops. Throw out the “agreement” – that received no concrete approval from everyone – out the window. Harsh reality, I know. As I write this blog, I’m so amused with myself I can actually pat myself on the back. Breastfeeding a toddler while typing a required blog entry on a laptop with Crayola stains on the screen? That is serious skills right there, my friend!

Now let me talk about the forums which I have to participate.  Full disclosure: Another whole level of difficulty for me lies on the discussion threads. I’m not much of a talker, you see. I’m more of an observer. I love lurking in the background (creepy, I know) and watching people try to look smart and prove that they are indeed smart or fumble and make a fool of themselves. I honestly prefer the former but let’s be realistic, it’s way easier to make a fool of ourselves in forums more so when we are overeager. I pick the good and probable ideas then separate them from the why-did-you-even-say-that neatly in my head. I draw a conclusion from there – that is how I work. Yes, work. It is here where I realize that my indifference may be stemming from this. But of course this isn’t the corporate setting – I’m not fixing bugs or crafting solutions or testing scenarios. At work, I can be reclusive and just drop bombs during meetings. I can shut people out and collaborate only when needed. Here though I must get out of my shell and sincerely listen (notice the adverb?) and share. That is the tough part for me. I often have to remind myself that this is school. I MUST learn not only from the professors but also from my classmates. Humility and open mindedness will go a long way. My previous boss always told me there is no I in team. The classroom is one big team whose aim is to learn and grow together – so I concede. The truth is I still struggle but I AM TRYING. And I don’t want to just seem to be trying but I want to go the extra mile and tone down a few notches my penchant for lurking – and people watching. I won’t promise to be Ms. Sunshine but at least when my classmates think of me they’ll say “Ah she’s good in my book”. 

Let me warn you I will end this with a series of cliches. My journey has just began and I’m certain there will be more adventures, and probably a few misadventures here and there, in the coming years. And just because I absolutely love A Few Good Men (nerd alert!), I will end this with a quote from that movie. This soldier moves forward!

I have two books at my bedside, Lieutenant: the Marine Corps Code of Conduct and the King James Bible. The only proper authorities I am aware of are my commanding officer, Colonel Nathan R. Jessep, and the Lord our God. – Lt. Jonathan Kendrick