I have consciously tried to stay away from anything that can be related to pop culture because I find much of it is either petulant, shallow or impractical. But mind you, it is easier said than done and I am well aware that I must readily adapt to change, if and as needed, according to the flow of the times lest I become a cavewoman. During my early thirties, I have been a more than willing participant of online dating sites. People around me have been asking the most awkward question any contented, single and self sufficient woman who has managed to maintain a comfortable life for herself can ever receive: when do you plan to marry and have kids? My family, childhood friends, officemates, casual acquaintances including complete strangers I bump into a random club have made it their business if being a spinster is included in my dream board. As they say, loneliness is a troublesome bedfellow. Let it linger far more than it should and it will lead to desperation in a heartbeat. We live in a patriarchal society that encourages women to watch with bated breaths as their biological clocks start their natural countdown. The moment a woman enters adulthood, the sociocultural pressure becomes overbearing and no amount of self help books can remedy a badly beaten soul which was hammered by beliefs that are, although archaic and groundless, still considered as valuable by tradition.
I used to work for an IT company where 80 percent of its employees are male. One would assume that the odds are in my favor but you know love and destiny, they can be elusive and sly as their whims dictate. So after a few unsurprisingly unsuccessful relationships and a year long dating sabbatical, I finally took a leap of faith, tried a dating app and got married. It did escalate quickly. You see, I met my dear husband in *OKCupid and that is a lot like winning the lottery.
There are millions of online daters and some even have multiple accounts across different apps and sites[1]. To say there is a lot of fish in the ocean is an understatement. The McDonaldization social theory explains why people are drawn to these rational choices[2]. Time and efficiency are highly prized by our society which has developed a leaning towards instant gratification. We look for quick fixes and gamble at the possibility of luck. Online dating platforms allow busy people to meet others discreetly and effectively. They are selling possibilities and the truth is sometimes, a mere possibility is good enough.
After six years together and two kids later, my husband and I still have a good laugh whenever we talk about how we met. It takes Divine Intervention and a certain kind of cosmic magic to have two bored introverts with a laughable social circle to come together in a virtual space, no matter how small, superficial and unsafe it may be. They say fortune favors the bold and in our case, even the totally reckless.*OKCupid is a dating app available in both iOS and Android. Works better than your regular Quiapo concoctions and tito/tita retos but that’s just me.
References:
[1] Albo, B. (2019, May 23). The Most Popular Online Dating Sites to Find Love. Retrieved July 22, 2019, from https://www.liveabout.com/the-most-popular-online-dating-sites-1021982
[2] Ritzer, G., Learning, L. (1993). McDonaldization of Society. Retrieved July 22, 2019, from https://courses.lumenlearning.com/alamo-sociology/chapter/reading-the-mcdonaldization-of-society/
